an interview with:
Kirsten Battaglia, visit her at momthoughts1.blogspot.com
ADHD child(ren):
Nicholas, age 9, 4th grade
NON-ADHD child(ren):
Teagan, age 6.5, 1st grade
Nina, age 2
Who are you?
I'm a part-time working mom, part-time stay-at-home mom. I'm married to a wonderful man who also has ADD. I have discovered that all my 'hot' buttons are caused by my husband's and son's ADD/ADHD behaviors. Go figure.
Describe your ADHD child using only ONE word: emotional
What about your life makes your ADHD story uniquely yours?
I don't know that my ADHD story is all that unique -- I think my situation is probably pretty similar to others. Maybe what makes it unique is that I am able to share it.
How did your ADHD child come to be diagnosed?
My son's first, second and third grade teachers all pointed to ADHD. I didn't want to believe it -- he is the youngest in his class so I made excuses for his immature and emotional behaviors. By midway through third grade, I came to grips that my son was not 'normal,' that his excessive outbursts were not due just to being young.
What are your ADHD child’s strengths/gifts/talents? Weaknesses? Obsessions?
Nicholas lives in extremes. When he is compassionate he is uber-compassionate. When he is a bully he is truly a jerk. He is exceptionally smart -- sometimes this is good, sometimes it's actually detrimental. People see how smart he is but they don't understand why he has outbursts or why he acts like he has the maturity of a two year old. They don't understand ADHD and intelligence are not intermingled. He can hyperfocus like no one I know! Legos and reading can take him away from the world for hours. Meanwhile dinner time is spent standing up to eat and he is done and wants to be excused almost immediately.
What sports or extra-curricular activities does your child participate in successfully?
He played soccer and was very good at it. In fact he played goalie -- he is not afraid to dive in front of a ball. But he didn't like it. He tried football this year. He likes the game but doesn't like practices. I am not sure he will ever be great at sports due to his inability to focus during practices. We'll see. He was involved in a Lego robotics team this year. He did well but again, he likes the competitions not the planning. What strategies do you employ to cope with ADHD?
We have lists everywhere! Lists in the bathroom say things like did you brush your teeth, brush your hair, wash your face. The door list says do you have your lunch, your homework, your folders, is it library today? is it gym today? We have them for cleaning his room, for doing chores, for everything! This enables me to not ask him the same things everyday. I can just say, "did you check your list?" I get less frustrated and it gives him a sense of control. Also, it breaks things down into doable tasks.
If you could give one piece of advice to a parent of an ADHD child just diagnosed, what would it be?
Forgive yourself. It is hard as a parent not to question why your child has ADHD. It is hard to understand and explain to others that your child has 'special needs.' It is not a 'handicap' that is recognized. I would recommend that they do their homework on how they can best help their child but also help themselves.
If you could have a free 60-second spot on a public broadcast station, what would you share, show, say?
I would show pictures of my son, like a photo montage, and have a voice-over sharing my son's artwork, accomplishments and abilities. Then at the end I would show a video clip of the meltdowns and some of the more difficult times. Then I would simply say something like "The face of ADHD."
Does your child take medication to manage their ADHD? Is so, what medication and at what dosage? How does it work for them? What side effects do you see?
Nicholas takes Focalin 15mg, once a day. It does work for him but by the time he gets home from school he is coming down from it resulting in lots of emotional meltdowns and arguments. It ensures he does well at school but it makes for really rough evenings at home. Also, snacking in the evening and sneaking food is his new thing. Once the meds wear off he is finally hungry and then eats pure junk instead of making healthy choices. Which prior to meds he was a great eater making really healthy choices. Before he never really liked sugary foods but now they are his favorites.
Does your child attend public school or a special school? Does he or she have an IEP or a 504 Plan? What kind of accommodations do they receive?
He attends public school. We do not have a plan currently but have considered one for next year. He does not receive any special accommodations because he has requested to not have them -- he doesn't want to be seen as different.
What else would you like to share with other parents on this similar journey?
Do your homework. Find support groups. Find websites and blogs like {a mom's view of ADHD}. Realize that it is a real condition and that life may be a bit more difficult for you and your child, but there are resources and people and lots of support. Surround yourself. Remember to also take care of yourself and your needs so that you can in turn take care of your child.
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