Turns out that as a mother of an ADHD child I am a member of an at-risk population. Research shows that we are at a higher risk for depression, we have higher incidence of stress-related problems and we have higher divorce rates.
I guess on some level I understood those realities but hadn’t really processed it in terms of being “at risk.” For me, those words apply to my son.
But “because of the unique stressors inherent in parenting an ADHD child, in a lot of ways mothers of ADHD children are at risk,” said Erica Merson, a doctoral student at the University of Maryland, College Park, who also counsels ADHD children. She is currently conducting a research study to learn more about the experiences of mothers of ADHD.
As described by Ms. Merson,” this study will provide an opportunity to better understand the experiences of mothers of children with ADHD, specifically their psychological health, marital relationships and parenting behaviors. Moreover, this study will allow us to examine the effects of maternal psychological health, employment characteristics, and the marital relationship on parenting
behaviors for [this] specific population.”
Ms. Merson’s interests include women’s career development and the integration of family and career, and she notes that “by applying a more positive, strength-focused approach to understanding a population at risk, counseling psychologists can help focus on ways in which mothers can have enriching lives, while combining their roles as employees and parents and increasing the probability of healthy child functioning.”
And to that I say, hurry!
I am a mother of an ADHD child, but I by no means feel adequate in the role. Being a parent in itself is overwhelming at times, but the experience of parenting ADHD is something that can’t be fully communicated to someone who hasn’t lived it. Sometimes there are no words--just emotion and exhaustion and worry and frustration that leave you feeling you’re no more than a pretender wearing a parent’s shoes.
I’ve fretted a lot over how my ability to manage the challenges of ADHD will impact Joe and the other members of my family over the long haul. But I haven’t really spent a whole lot of time pondering how it all impacts me, other than knowing my stress level can be through the roof at times and that my ability to maintain some semblance of a professional life while being available to address the demands and needs of an ADHD child is severely challenged.
I am heartened to know that researchers like Ms. Merson are thinking about it, because all progress begins with a thought.
Her study is seeking mothers of ADHD children between the ages of 5 and 13 who are willing to complete a confidential online survey. I encourage all of you who fit the criteria to participate in support of learning more about how to better help ourselves.
As individuals, and as a society, we can’t do better until we understand more.
Art credit, Danilo Rizzuti
Tammy Murphy is a former journalist turned public relations maven. She’s the mother of two—a 14-year-old daughter and an 11-year-old son whose ADHD and related symptoms were evident practically from the womb. Tammy is a native of Maryland and a recent Georgia transplant. She started blogging about her up-and-down experiences with Joe—and life in general—as much-needed therapy. You can read her honest attempts at connecting the dots on Tammy Time.