I walked into my favorite coffee shop, Stomping Grounds, chose a table, and set my laptop bag on a chair. I was about to sit down when I caught a glimpse of a flier on the bulletin board just behind me.
“Do you have a student or child with Dyslexia or other Reading Difficulties?”
Yes, I do, as a matter of fact; my 10 year old daughter Natalie, who has ADHD. I read on.
“This five day course…multisensory learning…25 years experience…extensive materials…”
My mind started to whir. Oh, I’ll have to call Victoria (Nat’s friend Harry’s mom). I wonder if she knows about this. And I should contact the principal and see if any teachers are going. Should I offer to pay the registration fee for Hannah (Natalie’s cousin/respite provider/summer tutor) to go? Oh, right, I sent her to learn about Lindamood-Bell last spring. I wonder if this is similar...” I had a sudden urge to SCREAM. NOOOOOOOO!
No more ADHD. No more LD. No more books, blogs, podcasts, webinars. I need a break from ADHD.
I’ve been in a strange place lately. I don’t want to read about, write about, talk about, or think about ADHD. I couldn’t make myself read the entries into {a mom’s view}’s new contributor contest. The latest issue of Real Simple magazine arrived in my mailbox, and I snapped it closed when I reached the article I’d been waiting a couple of months for—an article about raising a child with ADHD. One of the editors at ADDitude magazine sent me some books to read, and possibly review, and they’re sitting on my kitchen counter, crisp and clean, with unbent bindings. I’d rather use them for fuel in the fireplace than read them right now.
It’s not Natalie, my child with ADHD, whom I need a break from. Sure, handling her behavior and mood issues challenges me daily. But I’ve had the support I need to deal with that lately. For now, at least, she isn’t what’s overwhelming me.
Those of us parenting kids with ADHD and/or other special needs are prone to immersing ourselves in learning about the disorder in an effort to help our kids. Sometimes our quest to help our children takes over our whole lives. If we get stuck in that mode for long enough we stop doing what we need to do to take care of ourselves. We may even lose ourselves entirely.
We often talk about taking better care of ourselves. But do we ever do it? I want to take a week off from ADHD. Not from my child, but from the writing life, and the inner life I’ve created around her. A week of no blogging about ADHD. No Googling ADHD gadgets. No browsing the parenting section in bookstores. No psychologist/psychiatrist appointments. No IEP meetings. Geez, I feel better just thinking about it.
Imagine a week of going for a walk every single day. Of reading Jodi Picoult instead of Penny Williams (no offense, Penny!). No checking what’s new on ADDitudeMag.com. No attention to Easy to Love but Hard to Raise, the book I’m working on. God help us--no {a mom’s view}!
Penny, as our head ADHD Momma, couldn’t you declare {a mom’s} week free of {ADHD}? Come on fearless leader. Your mom-fans need you! (At least I do.)
Could I really do it? Could you?
Kay Marner is a freelance writer specializing in ADHD and adoption. Read her ADHD parenting blog: My Picture-Perfect Family to see how she's coping with life in the parenting fast-lane.