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| COMMUNITY. |
I am really, really not a groups kind of person. So, the first thing suggested to
me when I learned Clark might have ADHD, by a kindly phone rep with our
company-provided insurance provider?
Yes. A group. A support group.
I.DON'T.DO.GROUPS.
To me, a support group means I call
my mommy. If she isn't available, I get
out the Blue Bell ice cream. Besides, at
the time I still lived on an island in the middle of the Caribbean. There were no ADHD support groups less than
an epic swim away.
We moved to Houston and Clark's new
counselor recommended, yep, a support group.
"Bad idea!" I screamed at
him. In my head.
I took the paper he held out to
me. I glanced at the long list of
groups, some local chapters of CHADD (Children and Adult with Attention Deficit
Hyperacitivity Disorder) and ADDA (Attention Deficit Disorders Association). Both of them are great groups, but I'm not a
joiner, so, I folded the paper in half,
and I placed it carefully in my purse.
As I exited the building, I looked all around me to make sure no one was
watching, then dropped the paper in the trash without stopping.
I really don't do groups.
Things with Clark got harder. I started writing about it. I do "alone with a laptop" pretty
well, which sometimes makes up for not doing groups, especially when my mom
isn't around or I run out of Dutch Chocolate.
I wrote and I wrote and I wrote, and then I started clicking this button
in my blogging software called "publish."
And something magical occurred.
Without ever realizing what was
happening to me, I got sucked into a community.
A community of parents with computers and internet connections who
talked to each other through their blogs, Facebook, and Twitter. My community revolved around the blog of my
friend Penny Williams, a co-contributing-author in the anthology Easy to Love but Hard to Raise, and the founder of {a mom's view of ADHD}. Penny invited me to join her community of
writing mommas.
It's not a group.
A community is way different.
We don't have meetings. Unless we want to. But we call it going out for coffee,
tweet-up's, or some other fun name.
We support each other. We advocate for each other. We cheer each other on, empathize, and answer
questions for each other. We provide access
to expert information, reading material, helpful videos, and useful
products. And it's really wonderful.
Last month, when Penny was having a
terrible day, an ADHD momma low, we started a day-long campaign to celebrate
the awesome traits of our ADHD kids. For
twenty-four hours, members of our community posted pictures of their beautiful
children's beaming faces, posed with their kittens and jumping into swimming
pools. Proud parents got the chance to
brag about the traits that harried teachers and condescending mothers of
perfect little overachievers never saw.
We told each other about our WonderKids, and we rejoiced together about
that which made them unique, special, and loved. And I was thankful to be a part of
it.
Yeah, I know. It sounds a lot like a support group.
But I don't want to talk about it.
Until next time,
Pamela, aka Clark's mom
Pamela Fagan
Hutchins writes the Clark Kent Chronicles on parenting ADHD wonder kids,
thanks to the crash course given to her by her ADHD son and his ADHD father. She
focuses on the post-elementary school years. Visit her blog, Road to
Joy, but hang on
for the ride as she screws up her kids, drives her husband insane, embarrasses
herself in triathlon, and sometimes writes utter nonsense.