an interview with:
Jennifer Bucci
ADHD child(ren):
Camden, 6 years, first grade
Camden, 6 years, first grade
NON-ADHD child(ren):
Kendall, 9 months
Kendall, 9 months
Who are you?
I am 36 years old. I was blessed to adopt both of my beautiful children! I work part time at a hospital and love my job! I also work full time at home, caring for my family. I have been married for 10 years now.
My childhood was hard -- my mother is an alcoholic. I also have ADD and some OCD. I did not know I had ADD until I was an adult though.I have survived cancer twice, and a stem cell transplant!
Describe your ADHD child using only ONE word: caring
What about your life makes your ADHD story uniquely yours?
I too have ADD. I did not realize I had it until I started looking into it for my son. By now I have learned the tools to live with it, but growing up I always felt different from everyone else. I had a hard time making friends and still have some social anxiety. I could read but could not comprehend what I was reading, etc. I can not believe I passed in school!! I did not get much family support.
December is the hardest month for me, with the holidays and everything. I get overwhelmed and forget things!! But, the plus side is that I totally "get" my son!! He will do something a different way and I think I would have done the same thing!!
Both of my children are adopted -- two very different stories. Camden's story has more chaos with it and that may explain some of his issues.
How did your ADHD child come to be diagnosed?
He was born with cataracts, a small soft spot, needed hernia surgery at 3 months old, and physical therapy (PT) for a muscle in one of his feet.Can you imagine hearing all of this at your first appointment? Scary!
As an infant, my son cried alot and was hard to console. He had sleeping issues also. At 3 years old, I knew something was different, I just didn't know what. He didn't know where he was "in space" and I could just tell something was not right.
He recieved glasses at the age of four and also started occupational therapy (OT). The OT has been the biggest help, working with his vision, low tone muscle and social skills.
I did not get much help from doctors to figure out all of his issues, mainly because I think he does not fit under just one category! I did research online every night until I could not see straight!!
To answer your question, he was diagnosed by his pediatricain in preschool. The doctor said come back when you are ready to put him on meds. I was like, "NO way," and started my journey to find everything and anything I could do to help my son without using medication.
As an infant, my son cried alot and was hard to console. He had sleeping issues also. At 3 years old, I knew something was different, I just didn't know what. He didn't know where he was "in space" and I could just tell something was not right.
He recieved glasses at the age of four and also started occupational therapy (OT). The OT has been the biggest help, working with his vision, low tone muscle and social skills.
I did not get much help from doctors to figure out all of his issues, mainly because I think he does not fit under just one category! I did research online every night until I could not see straight!!
To answer your question, he was diagnosed by his pediatricain in preschool. The doctor said come back when you are ready to put him on meds. I was like, "NO way," and started my journey to find everything and anything I could do to help my son without using medication.
I felt that he was too young to put him on medication at that time (and so did my doctor), but they didn't offer me anything else to do to help!
What are your ADHD child’s strengths/gifts/talents? Weaknesses? Obsessions?
Obsessions: He still puts everything in his mouth!! I have such anxiety when we go to someone's house! Will he put a penny, polly pocket, etc. in his mouth and choke?! He is also obsessed with the weather, also a Gift!! He wants to be a meteorologist when he gets bigger, and a storm chaser!!
He is such a people person. He loves having people over. He did not understand why we did not have all the family over for a party on Presidents Day!! He is a snuggler and a lover. Very kind. I must get a hundred hugs and "I love you mommy" a day!!
He does have social boundary issues, as much as he wants people to be around him, he doesn't always want to play with them!
He does have social boundary issues, as much as he wants people to be around him, he doesn't always want to play with them!
Academically he achieves average or above average!!
He loves being outside -- I think he feels like he can just be himself while riding his bike and scooter -- he is in control!! Free!!
What sports or extra-curricular activities does your child participate in successfully?
He has a tutor who really gets him, they have a good time together.
He has been in swimming off and on for a couple of years. He does have anxiety before he goes, but does ok after a few minutes.
We tried Karate. The instructor did wonderful with him but there was too much down time that made him start doing his own thing. We may try it again in the future.
He LOVES Vacation Bible School every summer!
OT, I am counting that because it really is an activity!!
He wants to try Basketball, so maybe this Spring!!
What strategies do you employ to cope with ADHD?
Because I have it too, I have to make sure I am very organized or we both are out of luck!! I pack his lunch the night before, organize his clothes for the week, etc. Be sure to follow a routine!
At least once a week I tell my husband I am sleeping through the night! Which means he has to take care of both kids if they get up!! I will sleep in another room or take some Nyquil, so I get a good night sleep!!
I make sure I get out of the house at least twice a week. Even if it grocery shopping by myself of dinner with girlfriends. I don't need a break from my kids (I miss them so much when I am not with them) but I do need a break from the house and routine of things. Sometimes if I can not get out it is a bubble bath and glass of wine when the kids go to bed!!
If you could give one piece of advice to a parent of an ADHD child just diagnosed, what would it be?
Love, Love, Love them for who they are!! Every ounce of them!! Be patient with them and with yourself. Share your story with anyone who will listen!! You never know who you may be helping. I have made some good friends that way and I don't feel alone!! {Sorry. I know that was more than one piece of advice. Blame it on my ADD!!}
If you could have a free 60-second spot on a public broadcast station, what would you share, show, say?
I would talk about how to be your childs advocate. If we are not trying to help them get everything they need, who will? Plus, they deserve it!
Does your child take medication to manage their ADHD? Is so, what medication and at what dosage? How does it work for them? What side effects do you see?
We started medication this year -- we tried Vyvanse and Concerta (three different doses of each). Both made him stop eating and he became so wired at night he would not get much sleep.
He now is on 3mg Intuniv with slight inprovement so far. He does eat on this medication, so that is good. He still has some sleeping issues though. We added Melatonin to try to help with sleeping, but that made him so out of it the next day.
I feel like medication is just a bandaid to help but you still have to teach them the tools to function in life.
Does your child attend public school or a special school? Does he or she have an IEP or a 504 Plan? What kind of accommodations do they receive?
Camden is in public school and has an IEP. He has pullout sessions with OT, social worker, nurse, and resource teacher. He has an aid who is with him most of the day! He also has accommodations for extra snacks and motion breaks.
What else would you like to share with other parents on this similar journey?
I could not imagine my life any other way. Yes, there are hard days, but every "I love you mommy" makes up for it. Sadly some moms never get to hear those words! Take care of yourself and love unconditionally.
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